My next door neighbor died yesterday. Almost 90 years old…he had an unbelievably successful career and life. His quiet generosity and not so quiet advocacy touched hundreds if not thousands of people worldwide.
John grew up on a dairy farm in upstate New York. He went to Cornell and then Harvard on academic scholarships. He spent the Korean War stateside working as an engineer. In the Seventies he moved to Amsterdam, and as he became more and more successful he acquired homes all over the world, including his favorite, in Key West. He was an incredible businessman, so much so that his “Golden Years” were spent doing what he loved best…acts of philanthropy, both big and small.
When we moved to town we totally renovated a hundred and thirty year old home. John didn’t even know us and still insisted we stay in his guest house while our construction was underway. We walked across the beautiful backyard often to sit with him on his porch for a vodka soda and to download about current events. He was so welcoming and gave the best hugs, and never failed to kiss me on both cheeks, European style.
John spearheaded, funded or directed more philanthropic projects than we will probably ever know. Education was always the focus. His “baby” was the organization “Take Stock in Children” here in Florida, a scholarship program emphasizing not just education but also community service, enriching experiences and personal accountability. As a volunteer for many years, I’ve seen the absolutely phenomenal success of this program up close. It should be a model for school systems across the country.
He supported artists and writers and musicians. He no doubt personally paid for many, many college educations. He conducted his business on his back porch, with a laptop and Alexa playing show tunes or ABBA.
John was also gay. He lost so many friends during the AIDS crisis and you could see the sadness in his eyes when he mentioned it. He had a lifelong partner in Jacob Decker, who passed away before we had a chance to meet him. Apparently Jacob had an extraordinary life as well. I can’t imagine John with anyone who couldn’t keep up with his enthusiasm, so he must have been spectacular.
John could be brusque. He could be forceful. He tolerated exactly zero bullshit. He knew his stuff and expected you to know yours. But his stern exterior belied a gentle, thoughtful man who genuinely wanted to make the world better. He literally gave me the t-shirt off his back last spring because I asked where I could get one. It had the motto of Key West on it:
“We Are All Part of One Human Family.”
John lived it. He wanted us to, too.
Rest well, sweet sir. You earned it.
Leave a comment