Walk Home Together

The thing about Key West is that we are not like most other American coastal communities. We aren’t a pre-planned city. There’s no homogeneous architecture or culture or people. We are quaint, don’t get me wrong. But it’s not a manicured, HOA-rules, perfection kind of quaint. We’re like that roguish charming boyfriend that can’t quite get his shit together but you can’t quite break up with him either. 

We have Victorian era mansions and little Conch cottages like mine. Brightly painted rows of turn of the century cigar-roller company housing. Trailer parks and random apartments stuck on top of nail salons. A lot of people live on their boats “on the hook” which is just about the most economical way to do it these days.

This island was settled by pirates, wreckers, and bootleggers and it shows. Later on fishermen and sponge divers and cigar rollers showed up. And then artists and writers and musicians. The gay community found a welcoming place here in the Sixties and continue to be a vital part of this island. Our city’s motto is that we are all part of “One Human Family” and it’s one of the few things we insist on as a community. If diversity bothers you, you’ll hate it here. 

If you like chain stores and restaurants, you might be disappointed. But if you like dilapidated dives or a collection of random tarps and bungee cords cheerfully calling itself a “restaurant” you will love it. Of course, we have plenty of lovely fine dining, but to me the best flavor of the island is found in the scruffier places.

If you like to wear head to toe Lilly Pulitzer…or raggedy cutoffs…or a tutu…or a pirate costume…you’ll blend right in. The only people who look silly here are the ones who take themselves too seriously. 

Of course the weather here is spectacular. The salty breeze and the constant sunshine and 70s temps are pretty amazing. But remember two things:

-You must wear sunscreen. And more sunscreen. And then reapply. And reapply some more. You will fry like chicken in a skillet if you’re not careful.

-The hair you have in Key West is not your regular hair. You have never met this hair before. It is frizzy and it is blowing around everywhere. The strongest hairspray is no match for this place. Just wear a hat and call it a day. 

It’s a small place and we get along by respecting each other. If you don’t pick up after your dog, you will be called out. If you roar down Simonton Street with your glass pack muffler rattling everyone’s teeth, someone will yell at you (probably me). But if you are struggling to drag a fallen car-sized Royal Palm frond to the street for trash pickup, chances are someone will stop to help you and you’ll make a new friend. If the elderly homeless gentleman at the harbor has lost his shoes again, someone will make sure he’s got a replacement pair before the end of the day. 

We love tourists. I used to be one. Showing off our funky little town is our favorite thing. And we can tell who “gets it” and falls in love.

This place is not for everyone. It’s weird. Eclectic. Original. Imperfect. Accepting. All the best places, and people, are.