Walk Home Together

A while back I was having lunch with a dear friend. We were sitting outside, and I was baring my soul about some pretty bewildering, heartbreaking things I’ve been going through. 

We all have our phrases we overuse; one of mine is “It’s fine” or “I’m fine.” Clearly during this course of this lunch I had used it one too many times. This precious girl saw right through my sunglasses and into my overfilled eyes. She reached out and put her hand on mine.

“Stop saying that,” she said. 

“It’s not fine. You’re going to BE fine. Eventually. But it’s not fine right now. And it may never be. But YOU will be fine.” 

Wow. That’s my girl Trudi for you. Not only is she incredibly thoughtful and wise; she saw right through the facade and called me on it. 

When someone says “Hey how are you?” We automatically say

“I’m fine!” 

But maybe the reality is more like

“I’m anxious and afraid and heartbroken and I can’t seem to think or pray my way out of it or fix it because it’s totally out of my control and it’s pretty damn sucky. How y’all doin?” 

So often we put on our “I’m fine” act as a public service…and for ourselves too. It’s much scarier, but ultimately healthier, to face the “not fine.” Not to get stuck in victim mode and not to wallow in a BYOB pity party. But to look the problem square in the face and really see it. Adjust your attitude as best you can and then let it go. It’s not “fine” but it doesn’t have to define us.

It’s more than ok to admit that sometimes things are not fine. That you are not fine. It’s necessary. For healing. For growth. And some situations may never be “fine”. They simply can’t be fixed. But you will be. More than just fine. You will thrive.